Grandmother Update

I have spent the last several days rising early and coming home late in order to see my family. My grandmother Carol, her sugary went along great, but her recovery time took her twice as long as was predicted for her to come out of. She was hurting really badly and the hospital almost OD on pain killers, so my mom spent the 1st night at the hospital with her because the gave her a reversal and put her on oxygen. At times she would stop breathing for a second or two so thus the oxygen. They sedated her pretty heavily. The only time they could get her to wake up and come around was when they would say "Grandma" really loud and she would look for her grandchildren. I however, am the only grandchild in the area. I got there on Tuesday night and my mom and grandpa had just left. My grandfather was having sever anxiety problems with seeing my grandma in such a sedated state.

It was awesome. When I got to her room, it was the first time she had come around all day, she talked to me and carry on small conversations. She laughed lightly, and was happy. Shaune and I stayed for about 45 minutes before leaving. On the way home I called my grandpa and told him we had been there to see her. I did not realize how badly my grandma had been until I called my grandpa. He started crying when I told her how grandma had responded. He was happy. Today, I got up early in the morning to go and visit her. Mom told me that I may not want to come because she was just as bad as the night before the first visit. My grandpa was really sad again because he had never seen her in a good condition yet. After I arrived, it was just like when I had visited before. She started coming around and talking and laughing. She was much better. My grandpa started crying again because now he could see that she would really be getting better. As of tonight, she is more coherent and out of danger with the medication situation. She is still in a lot of pain, but God has been with her.

Thanks everyone for your prayers! I have been in prayer for several days now and I have no idea how prayer warriors pray as much as they do! It sucks the life out of you! I am exhausted after so much time in prayer. But, it does leave me at peace with myself and whatever happens. Kudos to those who are constantly praying. I love to pray, don't get me wrong, I do it a lot. Some of my prayers are short and I try not to ask for to much for myself, but there are just some of those people who are ment to pray. They spend long days secluded from people and just pray. I am definitely not one of those people. Thanks to those that do.

Grandmother

My grandmother goes in for a full knee replacement on Tuesday morning. Please pray that everything goes well as she is getting up there in years, and my grandfather is so dependent upon her. My mom will be staying with my grandfather to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid incase something goes wrong during the procedure. Happy easter to all!

HE IS RISEN!

Obsessive Movie Watchers

So you know you have watched a movie too many times when you start noticing all the little words and things that should not be in the movie. I have watched the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe more than 10 times all ready. The fox is not in the book, and neither is the kids eating breakfast in Narnia, The book says that Edmond was refreshed by wine. On the 4th time, I found something sad. In the battle scene where Mr. Tumnus is running down the slopes and the giant is swinging his club, there it is. The mother of all dirty works ringing clear in all of its nasty glory. First I thought I was hearing things. And then after about 10 replays, I new the sad truth. I had become like the people who discovered the dirty action scenes in "The Little Mermaid, The Lion King, and Aladdin." Such a sad day in Narnia.

Anniversary

Shaune and I had a great 1st anniversary. We started off the morning by going to Donut City in Coppell and then to Starbucks for some major studying time that both of us needed. My sister called and we had a great talk. At 1:00 we had a massage appointment. We did a couples massage where they work on both of you in the same room. This was funny because Shaune had told me that he had a massage before. I get them about once every 3-6 months so I though everything would go great. Shaune's face was priceless when the therapist told him to take off his cloths and then get underneath the sheet. The ladies left, he looked up and I was already half naked. I couldn't help but laugh. I said, "I thought you have had a massage before?" He said, "Yeah, a chair massage at the mall." He really enjoyed the massage. It is something that both of us will do maybe once a year together. He had a study group session at 3:00 and then I took a nap. Later on that night we went to Maggianos in Plano. We ended up with enough food to feed the both of us for a week! Lots of food, prices are not bad at all. For 24.50 per person you get all you can eat. And man, do they keep it coming! Today we are ending our celebration with NARNIA! It was my final gift from him and I CAN'T WAITE TO WATCH IT! I love the chronicles, Hmm... maybe that will be my next blog entry...

Innocents

Today Shaune and I did the MS walk down in Addison. Wee took my dog Emma with us and invited my father in law and Shaune's younger brother Dylan, and their Pug dog Jasper. We walked with Team Waldman who is a huge sponsor and does the benefits for Ameristar. Wile we were walking there was the cutest little black boy, probably the age of 4 walking with his mom, grandma, and sister. When he saw Jasper or Emma he would yell " DOGGIE! DOGGIE DOGGIE!" really loud, clap his hand and jump up and down at the same time. He had the most gorgeous smile and beautiful pearly whites. For about half a mile he ran after Emma smiling laughing, and trying to grab her tail. Every now and then he would laugh and yell, "DOGGIE GET BACK HERE!" and when she would look back at him, he would laugh and chase her some more. She did not mind him the whole time. After a while he started walking with his hand on her back and then soon wanted to help me walk her. His mom was wonderful to talk to and we shared smiles and laughs as her son just had the best of time. We soon started to fall behind our team so we had to part ways and I could catch up. He was really sad and did not want Emma and I to go.

Children are really something, you know? Children bring the brightest light into your life on such a rainy morning. They no nothing of the world in which they live in. God is so amazing in everything He creates. Children have such an innocents in them that as we grow, we will never be able to obtain until Jesus returns. I may never see that little boy again, but just thinking about him makes me smile.

Almost anniversary

Isn't it amazing how fast life can fly by? This Sunday Shaune and I will have been married for a year. A YEAR!!! Where has all the time gone? Somedays, it feels like we have been married forever, and others only a short time. Bill Lee asked me the other day at church the $64,000 question? Is it everything you though that it would be? My answer:

Yes it is. I knew there would be good times and bad times. But I always say that I look forward to the bad times because that is when you grow the most, as an individual and a couple. It is never fun when you are in the middle of a situation, but to look back on it and see where God has been in you life is incredible. I love my husband and would marry him all over again.

(We are celebrating our anniversary by getting massages together. WOO HOO!)

Soccer

I played my first soccer game today for the first time since 7th grade. That was over 11 years ago. Shaune decided a while ago to put a soccer team together at work. Husbands and wives could join too, so I now play coed soccer for a team called "No Gray Area" (We are poking a little fun at his boss because he says this a lot) We won 7-6 and I played defense. It was a very cool experience to play a sport just for fun. Both teams want to win, but it is not as competitive as the men's league. (They destroy one another and get kicked out of games) I had TONS of fun and it was great to meet other girls. I feel more motivated to go out and do more now. Its amazing what a little bit of exercise can do for you. Soccer is also special to me because my husband and I are on the same team. He is a great motivator and encourager. All the ladies told me that he brags about me at work which was so flattering to hear. It make me happy to hear so many people tell me what a great man my husband is. I am thankful that he loves God the ways he does and because he loves God, he loves me in a way that I have never been loved before. *Sigh* Just another wonderful day. I Love life, even when it throws you curves. Its the twists and turns in life that let you grow in ways you never through you could.

Term Papers

Why is it that teachers place term papers and test the week after spring break? They know that no one works on anything over spring break and people forget how to work problems in science and math. I think they do it to break us of our fun. This week has been filled with papers. Four to be exact and 1 vocabulary test, and 2 exams. What a week. I have realized how far children can grow in a year. A man I knew growing up named Adam Hagg was in one of the LISD papers with Grayson and he now teaches at Briarhill middle school. Funny, both of us went there and we were in the same grade and I am still stuck in school. He has become a great teacher. Someday I hope to be the same.

Divorce: Relationship Party Crasher

So I got back from Nebraska on Wednesday. Shaune was meeting my grandmother Mary (my mom's mom) and her brother Jay for the 1st time. We had a blast. I don't get to see her very often, so I treasure the times that I do. We went to the air museum and the zoo. In 4 days I went from wearing a t-shirt, to long sleves. 1st day: nice weather. 2nd day: light hail, slight rain, cold weather, 110 tornadoes hitting counties around us. 3rd day: snow in the morning sticking to the ground. (We all went to the zoo this day. Do we know how to have fun or what!) 4th day: t-shirt weather again.

In these 4 days, my grandmother spent 1/4th the time remembering a divorce that happened over 30 years ago. I love my Grandmother, but isn't it about time that she let go? My grandfather left her after 22 years of marriage for one of her best friends. (They remain married 30 years to the day, my grandparents Phil and Carol, they are GREAT together) She admits that she is still bitter about the whole thing. Does that not suck? But life goes on and so do people. She remarried and lost her husband of some years the same week as my wedding. I think I only had 3-4 conversations where she mentioned Bob (the man she remarried). If anger and bitterness is a poison, why do we hang on? I wonder if the anger and pain ever truly goes away when we have been jilted. She told me that she felt like she never knew Phil the whole 22 years they were married and the same thing with Bob because he portrayed himself as a great god seeking man and changed right after they got married. In my mind I think, how can you be married to someone for 22 years and not know them? But, then I remember my own horrid relationship that I was in for 3 years and the guy turned out to be a lying, double life leading creep, that I thought I knew.

It scares me to think you can be married to some for so long and change. It is sad what divorce can do to a family. I pray that nothing like that happens to Shaune and I. I know that I am capable of divorce even though I think to myself "I'm not like that. I won't be like that," but it is scary because you never know where the two of you will be in 20 or 30 years. I only hope that I can safeguard myself and have the privilege to falling in love with my husband multiple times. It scares me even more to think that someone can hold on to bitterness for over 30 years and let it control every move in your life. Do you even live if your life is controlled by that? If marriage is one of the last covenants, why do so many people break it? It is special and yet it gets treated like trash. Just more signs I guess that this world is getting closer to it's end...

My vacation was great. My husband and I talked about plans for a house, children, and life in the next couple years and we enjoyed spending time that we do not normally get with one another. I Love snuggling with my husband! *sigh* My Grandma Mary and her brother Jay LOVED Shaune! We spent a couple of day going through Wedding photos and videos, since she was not at my wedding. I hope she moves down here and spends the later part of her life seeing her future great-grandchildren. She and I have tons of fun together.

P.S. You know your vacation was worth it when someone from the north asks you "What is an Enchilada?"

Ick! Vacation!

Today and yesterday have been whirl winds. So much has happened. Shaune came home Tuesday night and proceeded to tell me during the middle of one of my migraines that we could not go on a vacation that we had already planned a month and a half ago. His company is moving (and doing some other things that I cannot say until next week) and he has to be there as the Director of Human Resource. The president of the company told him him he could not go, even after ok-ing his vacation. So, he came home and told me the only way we would be able to visit my grandmother, whom I have not seen in 3 years, would be to leave two days from then, this Friday, and come home on Wednesday.

So I had to . . .

move a final,
beg my boss to get work off,
cancel my substituting for Sunday school,
clean the house,
pack,
finish all my home work early,
study,
go to a meeting for Summer's Cool,
help a friend finish her bulletin board at school,
do 4 loads of laundry,
switch bible study on Friday nights,
find someone to watch my cat,
boil peanuts,
cancel getting an oil change in my car,
and go shopping for stuff for the trip.

I had to do all of this in two day! (And I took time to write in my blog) I will admit that I was very unhappy with my husband for doing all of this at the last minute, as he knew a lot of this would probably happen before hand. I had some anxiety issues, but he handled them great, and I will say, for someone with a migraine headache and stressed to the max about finals this week, I think I handled it quite well. Shaune has been very helpful around the house trying to do what he can to help me get ready. This was one of those learning experiences when you find out what kind of stress your marriage can handle.

God grant me sanity through all this!

2nd Floor: The 2nd Dimension

As long as I live when I move out of an apartment, I will never move back into one on the second floor. Shaune and I live on the 2nd floor of a 3 story building. There are a couple of reasons why it is great.

Reason #1. We bootleg free wireless uncoded internet from the people next door to us.
Reason #2. When we got married we only had to move my things, not two peoples things from two different place.
Reason #3. We have a beautiful view of the creek from our balcony behind our house
Reason #4. Did I mention we are getting free internet?

I have lived in this apartment now for almost two years and have found myself living in the second dimension. It is the second dimension because people on the 1st and 3rd floor only have to listen to one thing. Here in the 2nd floor you have to listen to two things. This is almost like the skit "Whose on First?" The 1st floor person has to put up with noise from the people on the 2nd floor. The 3rd floor people have to put up with the noise coming from below them. The people on the 2nd floor have to deal with noise from the 1st and 3rd floor. The man downstairs curses and yells at his T.V all the time. "God d*m* it" and "**ck" leaves his mouth when he is watching sports, his dog makes him mad, or he is yelling at people on the phone. His dog barks and cries all the time. The lady above us has boys in middle school who run around and fight continuously. They yell, slam doors, and sound like a heard of buffalo running through the house. It is great when you get both of these at 10:00 o'clock at night. I would never suggest 2nd floor living to anybody. All I can say is thank God for free internet to make living her worth my wild!

College Burnout

Math has always been a rough spot for me. But this semester I might have a chance to pass it! My teacher is just about as weird and out there as I am so I understand his style of teaching. So far I have turned in all the home work and my lowest grade on them is an 8/10. Test week is coming up the week after spring break and I am a bit nervous about taking his test. If I pass this class, it will be the last math class I will ever have to take!

I had the unfortunate bad luck to discover that I have at least 2 and 1/2 years left in school because of my math problems. Sometimes I just want to quit and move on with my life. Does school really matter all that much? It has always been important to my parents and as equally important to finish school before having children. I feel if I have children in the near future that I will let them down. Granted Shaune and I are not ready to have children yet, but you never know what God will through your way. I know I will finish my degree and this is my life, and I make the choices in it, but I think I tend to let people control my emotions too much. I am burned out from school. I think that I am a great teacher, but because of a math disability and weed out courses, I am afraid I may not be able to live one my dreams. Another dream is to write curriculum books or vacation bible school packages. This would be great! I love creating and coming up with new ideas. In this world now a day, having a degree has become more important than experience. This creates a disadvantage for older people without degrees and have experiences, and people who do not have the income or the extra money to go get a four year degree. Since when did living the American dream include living more than one job and a college education? Has our world just gotten too busy?

Mad Driver's and Cursing

Blogging is something new to me. I am trying to get into the habit of writing on my blog because it is much quicker than writing in my journal. But, it takes longer to get onto the computer than it does to open a book.

Have you ever noticed how people are always in a hurry? So many people now a days are driving like mad men and women down the road and get upset when you following the rules of the road. On the way to work, I was driving 5 miles over the speed limit and I had someone driving on my bumper. She road there for a while and then decided to pass me by, but not before giving me "the bird". Why do people feel compelled to do this? The road belongs to everyone. People take things so personal when they drive. When she was riding my bumper I was angry that an old lady would drive that close to me and risk getting in a car accident. My first though was to brake check her, but I though better of it because of 2 reasons. 1st, it would not be nice. 2nd, it might cause her to hit me and ruin my car and I would be at fault with myself because I could have avoided an accident. I was upset that she flicked me off.

Later on in ESD I was playing a 4th grade boy in a game of connect four. We were both getting competitive and he ended up beating me. I said "Good Cow!" I received an interesting response to that remark. I was excited when I said good cow, it's always been a way of showing that I am upset or excited about something. The boy said, " So that is the work you use instead of cursing!" This caught me off guard. I told him no, that I use various weird words when I am excited or up set. But later on I realized just how smart he was. For most people, when they get upset the tend to curse. Those who try to be a little more polite use other words or gestures to spare other or young children from the offensive language. But words really do not matter do they? It is all in the context of how the word is being used. Both words have a negative meaning to them and are used to show displeasure in something or at someone. Children are amazingly smart to be picking things like this up in elementary school.

Lord, help people learn how to control anger when it is uncalled for. Teach us how to have a healthy expression of anger and to be mindful of pride. By thinking that someone is doing something against us, when it is unintentional, it is taking a situation and turning it into all about us. By doing this, we are helping to create barriers for keeping others out. We show other a horrible side of us that may help turn people from getting to know God. Remind us to be mindful of others.

My cat Manderin

Weird Weekend

I was studying in Startbucks this morning when a little girl walked up and started talking to me. She was cute, long curly, brown hair, brown eyes, big smile.... after talking about my chapstick on the table, my colored pens, trying my colored pens, and telling me that her name was Batman, she made her way over to another man and started talking to him. I looked for the mother and she was ordering a drink, not paying any attention to her child, or who her child was talking to. How scary it would be to have a child who was friendly to everyone? It would make it so easy to kidnap her or use her in a scam. After a few minutes and a few more people, "Batman" made her way back to me. It was about 7-8 minutes before her mother came looking for her. She has to have been 4-6 years of age. She carried a mini magna-doodle with her and never drew on it. I wonder who my children will be like when I have them? I wonder what kind of mother will I be?

God~ make me strong enough to remember that there are other more important besides me in this world. Let me be a faithful guardian of my children and keep a visual over them for you.