Divorce: Relationship Party Crasher

So I got back from Nebraska on Wednesday. Shaune was meeting my grandmother Mary (my mom's mom) and her brother Jay for the 1st time. We had a blast. I don't get to see her very often, so I treasure the times that I do. We went to the air museum and the zoo. In 4 days I went from wearing a t-shirt, to long sleves. 1st day: nice weather. 2nd day: light hail, slight rain, cold weather, 110 tornadoes hitting counties around us. 3rd day: snow in the morning sticking to the ground. (We all went to the zoo this day. Do we know how to have fun or what!) 4th day: t-shirt weather again.

In these 4 days, my grandmother spent 1/4th the time remembering a divorce that happened over 30 years ago. I love my Grandmother, but isn't it about time that she let go? My grandfather left her after 22 years of marriage for one of her best friends. (They remain married 30 years to the day, my grandparents Phil and Carol, they are GREAT together) She admits that she is still bitter about the whole thing. Does that not suck? But life goes on and so do people. She remarried and lost her husband of some years the same week as my wedding. I think I only had 3-4 conversations where she mentioned Bob (the man she remarried). If anger and bitterness is a poison, why do we hang on? I wonder if the anger and pain ever truly goes away when we have been jilted. She told me that she felt like she never knew Phil the whole 22 years they were married and the same thing with Bob because he portrayed himself as a great god seeking man and changed right after they got married. In my mind I think, how can you be married to someone for 22 years and not know them? But, then I remember my own horrid relationship that I was in for 3 years and the guy turned out to be a lying, double life leading creep, that I thought I knew.

It scares me to think you can be married to some for so long and change. It is sad what divorce can do to a family. I pray that nothing like that happens to Shaune and I. I know that I am capable of divorce even though I think to myself "I'm not like that. I won't be like that," but it is scary because you never know where the two of you will be in 20 or 30 years. I only hope that I can safeguard myself and have the privilege to falling in love with my husband multiple times. It scares me even more to think that someone can hold on to bitterness for over 30 years and let it control every move in your life. Do you even live if your life is controlled by that? If marriage is one of the last covenants, why do so many people break it? It is special and yet it gets treated like trash. Just more signs I guess that this world is getting closer to it's end...

My vacation was great. My husband and I talked about plans for a house, children, and life in the next couple years and we enjoyed spending time that we do not normally get with one another. I Love snuggling with my husband! *sigh* My Grandma Mary and her brother Jay LOVED Shaune! We spent a couple of day going through Wedding photos and videos, since she was not at my wedding. I hope she moves down here and spends the later part of her life seeing her future great-grandchildren. She and I have tons of fun together.

P.S. You know your vacation was worth it when someone from the north asks you "What is an Enchilada?"